I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
