I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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