A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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