There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize