You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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