singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
