you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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