I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
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