i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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