oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
