pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
