my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
