Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
