so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
