It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
