The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
