Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
