I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I could make wine with my vomit
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Randomize
