i'm signing you up for texting rehab
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
