dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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