Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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