I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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