every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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