He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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