I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
