The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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