With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
