dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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