fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
