Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
