What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
sex in a hospital.. check
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
