The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We talked him into tasing himself.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
