I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
