sorry about calling you the devil all night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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