words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm just crazy horny about you
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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