Define "chronic" masturbator.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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