Your tits are I can't wait for
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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