he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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