Dual....:-)
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
