Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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