I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
