Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
