do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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