quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
