I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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