My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize