just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
