too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
