well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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