At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
