You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
