I feel great
I just peed on a car
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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