yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
