Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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