About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
