lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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