I'll bet she douches with gravy.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
