I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
