I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize