She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize