i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize