Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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