That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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